Dirty Little Secrets
by AwesomatoligicalHaliBug
Summary: Ever wanted to know secrets about characters in fullmetal alchemist? Well go to Al!
1. Chapter 1

Dirty little secrets.

Hi! I am Alphonse Elric. Well full name Alphonse Michael Elric! I am brother to Edward Nicholas Elric.

Has anyone ever wanted to know all the dirty little secrets about Edward? Well if so, I am the place to go. Brother doesn't approve of me being online and talking to people on fan fiction, but I will do it anyway.

Uh oh brother is calling me for dinner, well ask questions please, bye!

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**R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

Well I have gotten quite a few questions about brother I see. Well what to answer first.

Brother is a very short person (everyone knows) I am pretty sure the reason he is so short is because he doesn't drink his milk, but it could be because he inherited our mother's height.

Yay! No strangers! Now brother cant yell at me! I am fine but this chapter isn't really supposed to be about me is it?

Brother actually really likes cats. He just doesn't think it would be a good idea to have one. But this one time, brother said I could have a cat…he was pranking me on April fools. So when he asked for some water I put milk in the cup instead.

Brother let me have a pet rock once. But he wouldn't let me keep scruffy (the rock's name) because Winry threw it at him once.

Come to think of it brother did spend an awful lot of time in the bathroom when I fed him milk..

Brother likes cats… but when we were little Brother had a hamster. And one time he saved a cat from the rain. He gave it to Gracia and Elysia after Hughes died.

So there you have it! Review soon and you can get more dirty little secrets about FMA characters!

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**Yaaay! Go Aru!**


	3. Chapter 3

**RenofAmestris: **Do you think your brother is girly?

Sometimes I do. Its hard because I will say Nii-San, wanting to say Oni-chan. And sometimes when he is asleep I will pretend he is a girl.

Its kind of creepy. Well that's what people say. People that know make fun of me. It makes me really sad. Sad Alphonse.

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**Mew Phong: **Who in your opinion is scarier; Olivier or Izumi.

I would say Olivier, but I see Izumi a lot. I think they are both equally scary. But when they team up, I will hide.

With my new body they are scarier then before so I would say both are equally scary.

**Mew Phone: **Why is Olivier so mean?

I think Olivier is so scary because, she has something stuck up her butt, or its just being related with Armstrong.

I wont hurt my brother, but I do need to get some milk in him. Sometimes when he is a sleep I put him on an IV that has milk in it…

Well I didn't do that until he got my body back. So he thinks he grew taller because of getting my body back, but really it was just because, I gave him milk at night.

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**I got it done! And remember Reviews and questions make Alphonse cry which makes Ed shorter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**RenofAmestris: **Huh, so if your brother was a girl you'd want to do her? No you want to do him anyway.

U-um…How did you find o-out?

**Mew Phone: **Oh its good you don't want to hurt your brother with poison! I feel as though I must ask this now; why hasn't your blood seal been wiped away yet? Blood doesn't stay on something for that long?

Yeah I would never hurt brother with poison. Um maybe it dried up? I don't know. I think blood stays for that long if it was alchemically put there? Well its Ed's blood soooo.

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**Finished. Next chapter posted when I get enough reviews. And a special editor will be there next time with Al.**


	5. Chapter 5

Brother decided to edit what I write, so I don't write anything, "bad".

Reene Chan CarbonIceAlchemist: Alphonse, I have some info I want to confirm (I'm praying its not true)  
Someone told me that u and ed practiced kissing on each other, is this true?

Well…brother and I were trying to see if we were..gay. We didn't know who to try it on, so we did it on each other… **Ed: Yeah I remember that.**

Vladimir D. Cloud's younger brother: Why does Havoc smoke so much?

Havoc smokes because that's how he is. When he was little he got into his dad's cigarettes, and BOOM! Here comes Havoc, the smoker. **Ed: That's what happened to Havoc?**

Yes, brother, that's what happened to Havoc.

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**Extremely short chapter, but its the quickest I could get.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ed: Someone is going to die today.**

**Al: Brother that's not very nice.**

**Freakle: Well neither is Lali, when she doesn't call me!**

**Lali: Alphonse...just start.

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**Sorry I forgot to look to see if there were any reviews I was missing.

Astray Kitten: Magnets… how do they work?

I'm not sure…maybe you should ask someone who is a professional. Or just Warrant Officer Fallman.

Lyden Leaf: It's pretty obvious that Ed and Winry are meant to be together in the show but do you know if Ed has a crush on a certain female officer? Maybe Riza? He seems to stutter a lot when he's around her plus she's also pretty and handles guns really, really well.

Yes I think that Ed and Winry should be together. **Ed: ALPHONSE! **And there _might _be a little love connection between brother, and Lieutenant. And I think Hawkeye handles her guns a little _too _well. **Ed: Alphonse, I am going to fucking KILL you!**

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**There you have it! See ya soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

Yes RenofAmestris I know when Ed is changing and sleeping! Yes I dream of Ed calling my naaaame. **Ed: Holy shit that's hot. **

I like the way I am, not hardcore, like brother. Even though I find brother's hardcoreness extremely sexy. Did I just say that?

I don't know if Riza and Roy love each other, but I _will _smoosh their faces together! Well I have to go smoosh their faces together so review. Remember if you don't review you make me cry, and brother shorter.

Don't make brother a midget and me cry!

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**Okay that was so short, it sucked. I know. But if you want it to be longer, then get people to ask more questions! Get your friends at school or work, your parents if you want. Get your siblings, anyone!**


	8. Chapter 8

We've got three questions, and it's been a long time since I've answered any of them. Let's get started, shall we? We've got something from _OwlCokkies XD_.

"I wont make u cry but ill make ed shorter! MWAHAHA YESS! take pictures wen u smoosh their faces together! :D

Al, will you transmute yourself into a duck? :D pleease?"

**Ed: Well, well, people ARE sabotaging me! **

Come on, brother, I don't think they're intentionally trying to make you shorter. I'm sure everyone just finds amusement in your situation. Plus, getting all riled up whenever someone makes a comment about your height doesn't make the fangirls stand down.

**Ed: You're right, we'll need a gun.**

But first, we need to take a picture to smoosh our faces together! :D

**Ed: No.**

Yes.

**Ed: _No._**

Yes.

**Ed: _NO._**

Yes.

**Ed: Fine. *Takes out camera and they take picture*  
**

There ya go! A fresh picture from Ed and I where we smoosh our faces together!

About the duck thing, I don't really think I can do that, you know? Since the principals of alchemy include equivalent exchange, I would need to have the properties to be a duck, in which I would just be a duck. I could maybe transmute my armor into a duck shape, but it would be a large duck, and only brother could do it. Besides, if I did a real duck that would be..._animal transmutation._

Here's a question from _Major Noku_.

"Okay, questions for Alphonse. :3 Here's one; Al, if you woke up one day, and you were still stuck in the armor-body, and Ed was somehow trapped inside you, what would you do?"

Well, I guess we would have no choice but to keep Ed in there, but I would go to see if Colonel Mustang had any suggestions, or if he could find a way to get Ed out. I wouldn't want brother to go hungry or anything. Besides, couldn't he just get out through my chest plate, or if I took off my head?

Last one! _royed lover _says, "I'm doing this for ED!

I like this." Well, I'm glad you like this. It makes me happy when others want to ask questions and do like this. I know most people may have lost interest in this since it's been so long since I've answered questions, but I'm back!


End file.
